What I’m Noticing: Connecting with Aliveness
Hello there,
The start of 2026 has felt intense for many of us.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been stepping back and noticing how much clarity returns when I stop rushing and come back to what’s actually here.
A few years ago, I began studying a presence-based approach to coaching. One of its grounding questions is: What if nothing is missing?
It’s a simple question, yet it gently shifts how we relate to ourselves as living beings. Are we missing something fundamental, or do we already possess innate capacity that grows when it’s met with care?
Watching my little nephew develop over the past year has made the truth impossible for me to miss. He’s learning incredible new things every month, none of it driven by a need to improve or a “growth mindset” (lol!). It’s emerging naturally, in response to his curiosity, perseverance, and a supportive relational environment.
In my coaching, something similar tends to happen: when we slow down enough to stay with what’s actually present within us, new clarity and direction emerge spontaneously.
This isn’t to say that our drive for self-improvement is “bad” or “wrong.” Rather, it’s to highlight that another, quieter mode of change is often overlooked.
Simple, not easy
As simple as this sounds, we all know how easy it is to be pulled away from our own experience—back to screens, to tasks, to habitual thoughts or impulses.
So as I start this new year, I’m returning to a simple practice of slowing down and noticing:
What is already here and wants to be noticed?
I don’t ask it to get a definite answer. I ask it as a way of turning toward my own experience with curiosity. Sometimes what comes is a slight tension. Sometimes an expansion. Sometimes something ordinary, like a forgotten item on my to-do list. Whatever shows up, I try to meet it with a simple inward “hello”.
Shifts tend to happen not because I force them, but because life was given space to unfurl.
Over time, these shifts feel sustainable, practical, and meaningful: a brighter mood, a clearer mind, more resolve, creative ideas, and a little more energy to get things done.
Perhaps even a new newsletter to kick off the year. 😉
Warmly,
Stephen
An invitation you might explore
If you’d like to practice, take one minute right now to close your eyes and take a few slow breaths, simply connecting with your inner experience.
Then gently ask inwardly:
What within me wants to be noticed right now?
See what comes. When you notice something, offer it a quiet “hello”. You don’t need to understand it or solve it in the moment. It’s enough to notice and greet it, and see what happens next. You might also notice how it feels to be the one doing the greeting.
If nothing in particular comes, that’s okay too—sometimes noticing the absence is what’s alive.
If you try this, I’d love to hear how it goes.
Additional context
Much of my work is grounded in the idea that we’re not broken machines to be fixed, but living systems that unfold in relationship with care, attention, and environment. When we slow down and meet experience with curiosity, we often reconnect with an innate intelligence that knows how to move toward balance and growth.
If you’re curious, you can read a little more here:
→ What if nothing is missing?
Lately I’ve been enjoying
Post: Jerry Colonna
““This is the challenge of being human: to remain present to the discomfort when fleeing would be easier. The courage to be human is to choose relationship over relief.”
Poem: Belonging by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer (excerpt):
…we are the dust, the dust that hopes,
a rising of dust, a thrill of dust,
the dust that dances in the light
with all other dust…
Song: Disarray — Lianne La Havas
